Saying Goodbye

There is never an easy way to say goodbye to those you love. I have had a very busy month in my life saying goodbye in many areas. None of them were easy or timely. In fact, they were a little shocking to my system.

On August 29, my wonderful mother-in-law of nearly 30 years passed away just three days after being diagnosed with cancer. None of the immediate family was prepared for this. Mom was 86 and up until the last year, she had all her faculties about her. Little did we know that she was extremely tired and apparently very ready to go. We all felt the diagnosis gave her the permission she needed to check out this side of Heaven. The doctor gave her less than six months at her appointment and being a self-determined woman, she figured that was a bit too long to linger. But, she didn't go out without being prepared. She lived a life of conviction and faith and passed those qualities along to her children. While she held that spirituality was a very personal relationship, she did not hesitate to show God's love in her everyday actions. She was a giving woman with such a big heart and she will be greatly missed (for now). We can rest assured that we WILL see her again on the other side of life's curtain. Even so, we mourn. Life is less full without her in it.

Just two weeks later, I lost a beloved pet of mine. His name was Charlie and he was 11-years old. How do you say goodbye to something where you were responsible for every one of his needs since birth? Though there is no comparison to the loss of a human being, losing Charlie tore at my soul as much as losing a parent figure. He had been absolutely fine one day, and the next morning he died in my arms apparently of a blood clot. Within one minute of waking, he was gone. His eyes meeting mine as he passed into Animal Afterlife. I have never had a pet die. I cannot put into words what I am feeling exactly, but its such a profound sense of loss. He had been such a good friend to me while my husband traveled and he filled up the empty side of the bed every night with gratitude. I know I will recover and the sun will shine again, but for now, the painful rawness I cannot shake.

On top of the loss of loved ones, I am also in the process of moving out of Georgia where I have called home for over 20 years. We are moving to the D.C. area, and I am trying very hard to find the silver lining in what I think of as clouds right now. I am determined to know that God is carrying my family to a new adventure and new beginnings. I want to believe that He has our best in mind...but still, in a deep recess in my heart, I am a weary traveler not sure where to call home or really whether or not I want a new home...but I DO trust that He knows even my smallest of concerns and will be there to help carry me forward into the life He has planned for me.

How do you cope with loss of any kind? For me, it is faith in action. I know that life will go on, and my hope is in the realness that I serve a God who has everything worked out already. I do not have to carve a path that no one else has traveled. He has always traveled EVERY path before me. I rest in that today. I know He will never give me more than I can handle and that gives me the peace I need to take another step. I choose to be happy. I choose to believe the best is yet to be....